Reader Discretion is Advised
by Anonymous Latina
Summary: Gerald drags Arnold and the Gang to a famous TV Talk Show, where secrets are reveiled and hilarious chaos arise
1. The Berry Sprinker Show

MY FIFTH FANFIC WOOOOOO HOOOOOOO

**I fixed the blank errors this page had (sorry)**

**Well guys, as you read you wont like Lila but in the end you will LOL!**

**It's not really Jerry Springer Drama, it's more of a Comedy but here it goes anyway**

**I DO NOT OWN HEY ARNOLD AND I DO NOT OWN THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, THIS FANFIC IS ALSO MIXED WITH MAURY I DONT OWN THAT EITHER**

**THE BERRY SPRINKER SHOW**

**READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED! FOR **_**CRAZINESS**_** AND THE **_**BLEEPS**_** HAHAHAHAAAAA**

"BERRY! BERRY! BERRY! BERRY!" cheered the crowd as the thin blonde man walked in from the door in the back "hey everybody!" he said while trying to over power the cheers

Fixing his cards the host smiled "Thank you, Thank you" pulling up his microphone and looking into the camera he said "Hey, Welcome to the Show today we are talking about unsuspecting men who are going to marry their cheating girlfriend."

"hoot hoot hoot hoot" cheered the crowed

He turned enjoying the cheers "our next guest's name is Gerald, come on guys lets make him feel at home"

"WOO!" they cheered

"I understand you have a story Gerald, tell us about it" said Berry

The 21 year old moved uncomfortably in his chair "well you see, my best friend Arnold is gonna Marry this girl... Who says that her baby is his... and well its not."

"hummmm said Berry" how do you know that the baby isn't his?"

"Because, well you see"

"BECAUSE IT YOURS!" yelled a nerdy man from the crowd

"OOOO" said the crowd

"NO! NO WAYYYYYY" yelled Gerald "its not that... you see Arnold was a" he lowered himself in the chair and mumbles were heard

"The what?" said Berry "we couldn't hear you"

"A -"

"Check his microphone guys"

"A VIRGIN OK, HE WAS A VIRGIN" yelled Gerald, "and he hasn't done anything with her since, he told me so" he said as he pulled his tall hair

"Your friend Arnold got rapped by her?" asked the host

"oooooo" said the crowd

"NO, it's not like that," said Gerald

"I don't understand what you're trying to say Gerald," said Berry

"Well you see Arnold got drunk at Rhonda's Halloween Party and thought that he actually went all the way with her that night, but he didn't"

"And how do you know that?" asked Berry

"Because...um...she was with someone else"

"YOU?" yelled the nerdy man from the crowd

Building up anger Gerald yelled "NO NOT MEEEE"

"Ok, ok calm down you guys" said Berry, "now lets move on with the show... Please give a hand to our next guest Lila"

"WOOOWOOOOOWOOOOOOO" cheered the crowd

Wearing a short shirt with a mini skirt Lila came in without a care in the world, she sat down and gave the crowed her charming smile

Berry laughed "OK, Lila do you know why you're here?"

"Yes I do, and he's lying" she said

"Why would he be lying?" asked the host

"Because he's ever so jealous"

"Jealous? Jealous of what" snorted Gerald

"You're jealous because you can't have a baby... I heard all about it," said Lila in a smoothly mocking tone

"She just made that up... Berry that baby is not Arnold's... You're a cheater Lila and you know it" Gerald pointed a finger at her and said "you cheat on him all the time"

Running towards him Lila yelled, "how dare you" she kicked, and slapped him, but was stopped by the bodyguards who pulled her towards the chair making her sit.

Berry just shook his head disapprovingly, and turned to the crowd "well guys do you want to meet Arnold"

"YEAHH" they cheered

Shifting the cards he said "Arnold you can come out"

Arnold came out receiving a cheer from the crowd; he took a seat giving the host a gloomy face

"Arnold, you've been watching from back stage, what do you think about all of this?"

Arnold just shrugged and said, "I don't know"

"Have you ever had any (_you know_) with Lila before or after the party?"

"No" said Arnold

"Do you remember anything that happened at that party?" asked the host

"No, I just remember waking up with a headache and only my boxers on"

"Who do you believe?" asked Berry

Arnold just shrugged facing Gerald

"Oh no" said Lila, "you cant pick him over me, you love me remember"

Berry raised an eyebrow "do you love her Arnold?"

"I love the baby" he replied

"But do you love **_her_**?"

Not looking at her direction Arnold said "I... Like her"

"LIKE ME?" Lila was turning red "LIKE ME?" she got up and yelled at his face "I KNOW! YOU PROBABLY LOVE THAT _BLEEP_ UNIBROWED _BLEEP_!"

Getting a little defensive Arnold got up "Don't call her that... And she doesn't even have a unibrow ANYMORE"

"You've been spending way too much time with her Arnold" she crossed her arms and said "I bet that you've been cheating on me with her"

Arnold's eyes looked like if they were going to pop out

Gerald got up grabbing Arnold's shoulder "mmmm mmm mmmmm don't change the subject Lila, and besides Arnold would never be in Love Helga"

"YES HE DOES" she yelled "HE TALKS ABOUT HER ALL THE TIME, ITS EVER SO ANNOYING"

"Who's Helga?" asked Berry

Sliding across the stage in a cool story telling manner Gerald explained "Arnold's tormentor and worst nightmare since... wooooo I can remember and one of the neighborhood's Bullies"

Berry walked around the stage with a smirk on his face, "tell us Gerald with who did Lila Cheat with?"

"That night she cheated on him with Jerry"

"Who's Jerry?" asked Berry

"Helga's Boyfriend"

"Guys do you want to meet Jerry"

"YEAHHHHHH" cheered the crowd

"You'll meet him after the break, well be right back"

"AWWWWW"

**A/N:** PLEASE REVIEWWWWWW


	2. The Dracula Mystery

I DO NOT OWN HEY ARNOLD!

**The Dracula Mystery**

"Guys please give a hand to Jerry"

"woooohooooo" cheered the crowd

The muscular punker came out from behind, greeting Arnold and Gerald with a high five, he sat beside Lila, and gave the audience his million-dollar smile.

"ooohhh you're so cute" yelled a chubby woman from the audience

Berry cleared his throat "I like your hair"

Jerry touched his tall green Mohawk with his hands "thanks"

"So Jerry, you and Arnold seem like good friends, why did you sleep with Lila?"

"I didn't sleep with Lila" answered Jerry looking at her direction and noticing the wink she gave him "and besides, Arnold told me that he was going to break up with her that night"

Giving him a confused look Berry asked Arnold "is that true?"

Arnold nodded "I...I...yes we've been dating for a while, and I didn't feel anything for her"

Lila didn't say anything; she just gave him a thoughtful glare.

Berry walked over to Jerry and asked him "was going to sleep with her? What do you mean by that Jerry?"

Jerry said "I never did, we were going to" he shrugged "but I got a call from my boy Sid, and I left when she was in the bathroom, when I got back she was with another Dracula"

"Another Dracula?" asked Berry while adjusting his glasses

"Yeah, that was my Halloween costume, a few other dudes came like that too"

Berry walked near the entrance and said "ok you guys coming out will be the host of the party, please give a hand to Miss Rhonda Wellington Lloyd"

"woooooohooooo" clapped the crowd

Walking in model mode with a very elegant dress Rhonda sat beside Gerald

Looking at his cards Berry said "Ok, Miss Lloyd, you stated here that you remember everyone's costumes from your Halloween Party"

Rhonda waved him off in an elegant manner "oh please, call me Rhonda, and yes I do remember"

"Odd" he whispered "but ok, so who were the ones wearing the Dracula Costume?"

Sticking out one finger in the air Rhonda said "Jerry" then bringing up her second finger she said "Eugene"

Berry cut her off and pointed a finger out in the air "ok bring out Eugene!"

Rhonda angrily crossed her arms "how rude"

Eugene came out dancing with Sheena, he tripped on his own shoelace and fell face in... a bucket full of water, Sheena trying to come to the rescue slipped on him, making him roll away to the exit.

Sheena ran away after him.

Berry wide eyed asked, "Where did that bucket come from?"

Everyone in his crew looked at each other and shrugged

Berry cleared his throat "well the point is that he is not the father of Lila's baby", he flashed the card to the audience and turned to face Lila "Right Lila?"

"Right!" Stated Lila "because Arnold is.."

Gerald shot straight up his seat "NO! Arnold don't listen to her, that baby isn't yours, I'm tired of standing here and doing nothing, while she's there forcing you to Marry her"

Scratching his neck nervously Arnold said, "I know"

"What" said Gerald "then why did you let her do this to you?"

"Because... she was pregnant and I didn't want to get her upset, I heard that when a pregnant woman gets upset they can loose the baby"

Lila furrowed her eyebrows "Oh, Arnold you certainly don't know what you're talking about"

Arnold looked at her sympathetically in the eyes and said "I know Lila, I was just helping you out for a little while"

Lila grabbed his arm and asked "Arnold... What are you talking about?"

Arnold sighed and said "a few days before the party I saw you with Kyle"

"Kyle" squeaked Lila

"Who's Kyle?" asked Berry

Arnold looked at him and said the Fiancée of Helga's sister

"The-Fiancée-of-Helga's-Sister" repeated Berry

"Yes" said Arnold

Slapping his forehead Berry announced "ok you guys, Please give a hand to Kyle"

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" said the crowd

_**TO BE CONTINUED!**_

**A/N**: HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED IT! I AM VERY GREATFUL FOR ALL OF YOUR REVIEWS THANK YOU SO MUCH :)

MESSAGES...

**Njay**: Hey Njay, I'm good, and you?

**ck3712**: Yup! they are

**Kaa**: Oh Si, pero Jerry Springer es mas loco, have you ever heard of Jose-Luis? It's kinda like his show, which is wooaaaaaa muy LOCO! LOCO! in the Jose-Luis show they even throw water at people from the roof hahahaaaaaaaa... but there's also way too many blurred images if you know what I mean...


	3. Unanswered Questions

I DO NOT OWN HEY ARNOLD! JERRY SPRINGER, NOR MAURY

**CHAPTER 3**

**UNANSWERED QUESTIONS**

"Kyle, you can come out now" frowned Berry

The short middle aged man, who was going bald walked into the stage and sat down beside Jerry looking confused.

"soooo" asked Berry, "would you happen to know this young lady right here?" he asked, as he pointed at Lila

"yes" he said nervously

"So, my guest Arnold here is saying that you... Kyle, has been a little to friendly with her?"

Kyle made an awkward face "I don't know what you're talking about, I never even talk to her"

"Yes you do" screamed Berry through the microphone "and don't lie" Berry then turned around realizing that everyone was awkwardly staring at him "I" he shook his head and said "well, lets just meet Kyle's fiancée... The Beautiful Olga"

The crowd Wooed

Olga came out into the stage as bubbly as ever, she squealed and gave Berry a hug "long time no see" she said as Berry gave her a goofy smile, Olga then walked over to Kyle and gave him a kiss.

Through gritted then Berry asked "So... Olga I didn't know that you had a fiancée"

"Oh" squeaked Olga "silly me, well yes this is my fiancée Kyle"

"Kyle" sighed Berry "well Olga, what do you see" he paused and cleared his throat "what do you think about the accusations regarding your fiancée Kyle cheating on you with Lila"

"Oh" said Olga "they cant be true" Olga then squished Kyle's nose and said, "He is just so helpful, that people get the wrong idea"

(Yeah-right) thought Berry "well what if I tell you that your father Bob let me put in hidden camera's in your home?"

Kyle started to shake freakishly and blurred out "he did?"

"Yes!" said Berry amused, "and we also have to watch a Big Bobs Beepers Commercial, Get all your Electronics at Big Bob's Beepers, No one beats the price"

Everyone turned to the screen, when the commercial was over, the video showed Kyle and Lila kissing while Olga stepped out of the room

As Olga watched the video her emotions ran high and her fury built up so rapidly, Kyle sensed this and tried to calm her down but with no avail

Olga didn't wait for the video to finish, "why you little two faced Bleep!" she charged at her with all her might

Gerald nudged Arnold "Oh, she's a Pataki alright, I think that she even out butt kicked Helga"

DING...DING...DING... Bells were heard, as blonde took on red "you Bleep! I never would of that that you would do this to me!" the Bodyguards pulled them apart, but not before Olga ripped open Lila's shirt open

The Television viewers watched a big Beeper with Bob's face covering up Lila, where the blurred image should be

And for the crowd it was a show "woooooooooooooooooooo" they cheered

"How could you?" yelled Olga

Lila covered herself immediately and sat back down, with Olga still being uncontrollable

"You, You piece of BLEEP How could you?"

"Oh Shmookie don't believe that video, we were just playing twister"

"TWISTER BY BLEEP! HOW DUMB DO YOU THINK I AM!" she slapped him and pulled him by what ever was left of his hair

The Bodyguards once again got a hold of her and forced her to the chair

Berry couldn't hide his huge grin "well, I um..." he paused when he saw a tall dark shadow emerge from the back, revealing to be none other than Bob Pataki, the heavy man walked in slow motion without a word and dragged a shaking Kyle away

Berry rubbed his neck "well...that guy might end up in the sewer tomorrow morning"

Everybody eyed each other awkwardly

Berry cleared his throat and continued "So you see Lila, Arnold has the right to have doubts about the baby"

"I may have cheated on him Berry" said Lila "and I ever so understand if he doesn't want to marry me, but he can't deny what happened that night"

"That baby is not yours Arnold, I bet that its Jerry's" yelled Olga

Both Lila and Jerry began to shrift uncomfortably, "what ever are you talking about" said Lila

"I saw" cried Olga "I saw you and Jerry, How could you do that to my baby sister?"

"You knew about Jerry and Lila?" questioned Berry

"Yes" sniffed Olga "but I was too afraid of what my baby sister would do to her"

"Jerry" said Berry in a slow tone

"NO! Berry, I swear that noting happened between Lila and I that Night"

"That night" repeated Berry at his chosen words

"Yeah, you could even ask my boys Sid and Stinky"

"OK" said Berry " Sid and Stinky come on out

"WOOOOOOOOOO" Clapped the crowd

Stinky now being the same height as Sid said "Well howdy Berry, you've got yourself a purrty fancy set"

"Yeah Right" grumbled Rhonda, whom was still upset with Berry

"Thanks" said Berry "so where were you guys that was so important?" asked Berry

"Oh" said Sid "You should have seen it, Snappy fell into the punch..."

Stinky didn't let him finish "Yeah, and he was walkin in zigzags"

"It was awesome" laughed the green haired boy

"WHAT!" yelled Lila, "you left me to go see a BLEEPIN Drunk Turtle!"

"Oh it was great...," said Jerry "Snappy walked all the way up to Rhonda's kitchen and bit her cooks nose"

"Yeah, but it stopped being fun when he tried to cook Snappy," said Stinky

"It was like a scene out of that Mermaid Movie," said the boy with the odd shaped nose

Rhonda gasped "Ricardo quit because of you!" she angrily got up and said "you guys owe me a cook and...!"

Berry once again cut Rhonda off, "well it says here in my cards that someone named Harold has something to say, so please give a warm welcome to Harold!"

The crowd cheered for Harold and Rhonda once again was sitting and giving Berry the look of Death

"I could be your cook!" said the cubby but muscular boy as soon as he sat next to Rhonda

Rhonda rolled her eyes "yeah... If I want the plates to be empty by the time they bet to the table!"

"Hey! No fair, you're just mad because I took you to the cheese festival for your first date and..." he stopped once Rhonda covered his mouth with her hand

"The Cheese Festival" said Sid "the last time the cheese festival came to town was in Ninth Grade"

"Ninth Grade!" said Harold "Noooo I was talking about Sevent... OW!" he cried as soon as he felt Rhonda pulling his ear "Shut Up!"

"Ummmm" laughed Berry "so do you have a thing for Harold, Mrs. Lloyd?"

"NO!" humphed Rhonda

"OK!" said Berry sarcastically, he turned to Harold and asked, "So what was it that you wanted to tell us?"

"OH.. Um" he scratched his head and smiled "I just wanted to say that Helga and I were having a Tequila Shot Contest?"

"WHAT!" exclaimed Rhonda

"aaaaaa yea" said Harold eyeing her oddly, and then Arnold also stepped in and played"

"Who won?" asked the Host

"I don't know" he answered "when I stepped out to go to the Bathroom, Rhonda came and asked me to kill the spider that was in her room, and when I went there she locked the door behind us and... OW! THAT ONE REALLY HURT"

"SHUT UP" Punched Rhonda once again

Everyone laughed, leaving the couple blushing madly

"So you don't know what happened after that?" questioned Berry

"Ummmmm... No..."

Berry left Harold and walked up to Gerald "so Gerald, you told me before the show that a Phoebe knows something?"

Gerald nodded in approval "She says that she is 100 percent sure that Lila's baby is not Arnold's"

The Host smiled and said "OK Bring out Phoebe!"

"wooooo" cheered the crowd "owowowowwow!" cried the men

The petite and delicate girl waked into stage, kissed Gerald and sat beside Harold

"Phoebe?" is that correct asked Berry

"Yes" she said

"you are 100 percent sure?"

"yes, I was observing Arnold the whole time"

"ok" said Berry "so what happened?"

"He was playing with Harold and Helga"

"...And what happened after that" asked Berry

Phoebe shook her head disapprovingly "I..." she looked around knowing that she would look stupid "I... know that he was not with Lila! And I just know that it's not Arnolds baby"

"But..."

Gerald didn't let the Host finish "I think she knows exactly what happened, but she just won't talk"

"Where were you at the party Gerald" asked Berry

"Cleaning off"

"What happened?"

Gerald only had to say one word "Eugene!"

"ohhhhhh" said the gang in union

"But Phoebe someone was... with you at the party, Nadine Righ?"

Phoebe adjusted her glasses "Yes"

"Ok guys, Please give a warm welcome to Nadine!"

Hearing the cheers Nadine smiled and sat next to Phoebe with a box within her hands

"What's in the box?" asked Berry curiously "Is it evidence?"

"No!" said Nadine "it's my..."

"No ok" cut Berry "so do you know what's going on?"

Nadine with a sly smile said "maybe"

Berry slowly said "O...K..."

Nadine giggled and said "but I" she looked over at Phoebe and stopped "I don't know because I wasn't paying attention, Helga..." she stopped herself

Berry slapped his forehead "you guys give me a break!"

Both girls glanced at eachother and shook their heads no

Berry sighed "OK!, now for our next guest whom might give us some answers! Please give a hand to Helga G Pataki"

"WWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOO" cheered the crowd

**A/N: ****I THANK EVERYONE FOR THEIR REVIEWS :)**


	4. What?

I DO NOT OWN HEY ARNOLD! JERRY SPRINGER, NOR MAURY, NOR CARRIE UNDERWOOD HAHAHAHAA

**WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW! EARLIER TODAY**

Berry sighed "OK!, now for our next guest whom might give us some answers! Please give a hand to Helga G Pataki"

"WWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOO" cheered the crowd

**CHAPTER 4 WHAT?**

Helga came running in straight towards Lila and Jerry

Arnold quickly got up and blocked her, letting Jerry take advantage of the situation to escape towards the crowd

"I'M GONNA SMACK THOSE FRECKLES OF YOURS... OFF INTO THE NEXT DIMENSION!" yelled Helga as she tried to dodge Arnold

"WWWWOOOOO" Cheered the crowd "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!"

Seeing that Arnold couldn't control Helga at the moment one of the Bodyguards ran over to Helga, and lifted her up into the air "LET-ME-GO YA BALD BLEEP" she squirmed and then punched him cold with the back of her head.

Now loose, Helga searched for green spikes within the crowd

"Helga!... Helga!... Helga!..." yelled Berry

Gerald once again nudged Arnold "Guess I was wrong"

"whatta ya want Glasses Boy, cant ya see I'm busy here!" snapped Helga within the crowd

"Come and have a seat" motioned Berry

Helga stomped over to the stage she shook her fist "NO! Ol' Betsy's got some unfinished business to take care of!"

"Just please have a seat" pleaded Berry

Arnold walked over to Helga, he smiled as he put his hand on her shoulder and said "just please, have a seat!" she looked into his beautiful green eyes (oh Arnold... so caring and gentle, if it wasn't for you Lila would be missing some teeth) her legs were beginning to weaken as she felt the urge to walk in the back stage and begin one of her monologues...

She snapped out of it when she heard Arnold ask her again, she nodded and sat beside Nadine

"Tell us Helga, What happened at the Halloween party?" asked Berry

Helga opened her eyes widely "d..don't remember" she stuttered

Berry scratched his forehead "oh, I believe you do Miss Pataki"

Helga gulped, she looked directly into Berry's eyes trying to think of a lie when..."Hey! Don't I know you from somewhere?"

Berry looked around with shifty eyes "aaaaa...No" he cleared his throat and walked over to Arnold "well then since she wont talk... I have a question for you Mr. Shortman"

Arnold nodded "yes"

"I thought that Helga was your personal Bully?"

Arnold smiled and said "well you see Berry, since the Halloween Party Helga and I have become friends"

"FRIENDS!" laughed Helga sarcastically "you wish, Arnoldo, I can't even stand to be in the same room with that big ugly football head of yours"

Arnold gave her an annoyed look

"But Helga" said Berry "you apparently sat down when _**he**_ asked you"

She nervously rubbed her elbow and trying to sound strong said "so what's your point Glasses Boy?"

"My Point" smiled Berry evilly "as you know, I had hidden cameras at your house?"

Helga bit her lip "so!"

"So...Do you happen to listen to Carrie Underwood?"

"The who?" asked Helga confused

"You know Carrie Underwood, have you ever listened to her song... Before he cheats?"

Helga raised an eyebrow "no, I don't even know you who your talking about... and what does it have to do with me?"

Berry grabbed the remote and pushed play

"Bleeping Cheater!" screamed Helga at the top of her lungs as she stood in top of a lifted Ford F-150, in her hand was a bat which had caused some major damage to the trucks doors and hood... she kept hitting the truck as she said "Who the bleep does she thinks she is! Looking at my freaking leftover food while she..." Helga dropped the bat and took out the keys to the truck; she then tugged it into the sides of the truck making huge amounts of scratches "she... has caviar! Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" then the blonde was seen opening the doors and carving in her name into the leather seats "Stupid Green FREAK!" she then walked outside and slashed holes in all four tires.

Watching the video made Helga pissed again "why you little Bleep!" she ran towards Lila and hopped on her chair to give her a peice of her mind, but luckily for Lila, Arnold didnt let the chair tip

"aaaaaaaaa!" she yelled Helga "how could you do that to him!"

'help..help!" yelled Lila while pushing her off

Helga was once again lifted by a stronger Bodyguard "let me go! let me go!"

Arnold ran over to the Bodyguard and said "hey she said let her go!"

Then all of a sudden Jerry's voice was heard within the crowd "What! ...MY TRUCK! Helga you knew?"

**A/N: HA! SHORT BUT... AT LEAST I UPLOADED :) KIDS! VIOLENCE IS NEVER THE ANSWER, THIS IS JUST FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY :)**

******THIS ONES TAKING LONGER THAN I'VE EVER IMAGINED... SO GUYZ ANY GUESSES ON WHO'S BABY IT IS?**

**Messages**

**ck3712:** wooo, I kept my promise, I hope you liked this chapter :) Have a Great Week!

**Connie: **Thanks

**Kaa: **YaY! me so glad you liked it, it makes me happy to make others laugh :) Oh Ok but Laura LOL! she cool! (que salga el descarado! hahahaaaaa) please excuse my spanish/spanglish me no espeke Spenglish J/K (I suck at all languages) well anyway, Have a Great Weekend

**I THANK EVERYONE FOR THEIR REVIEWS :)**


	5. We Caught You

I DO NOT OWN HEY ARNOLD! JERRY SPRINGER, NOR MAURY

**WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW! EARLIER TODAY**

Arnold ran over to the Bodyguard and said "hey she said let her go!"

Then all of a sudden Jerry's voice was heard within the crowd "What! ...MY TRUCK! Helga you knew?"

* * *

**We Caught You**

"of course I knew you filty pig" she spat

Jerry scratched his head in confusion "but... what was that wet stuff in the seats"

The bodyguard let go of Helga because she started to laugh uncontrollably, she fell on the floor and started to roll "It... hahahaha it it was pee hahahhahaa"

"PEE! PEE! HELGA YOU PEED IN MY TRUCK!" the angry boy unconsciously walked in the stage "How could you do that and..." he paused forming a huge frown on his face "and... and... you called me a LEFT OVER FOOD?"

Helga couldn't stop laughing "I didn't... hahahahhaaaa"

Berry now very amused told Jerry "why don't we just watch the rest of the video?"

Jerry nodded, crossed his arms and sat next to Lila whom was still trying to fix her hair

CLICK...

* * *

_And Once again Helga was seen standing in the top of the F-150 swinging her bat and causing a few dents, she paused when she heard a voice_

"_Excuse me...Little girl" they asked_

_Helga looked on "I'm 21 for Pete's sakes... Whatta ya want? Can't you see I'm busy here?"_

"_Can I ask you a question"_

"_Make it snappy Bucko," she yelled while swinging her bat in circles_

"_Do you have a bathroom?"_

_With a huge grin she asked "number one or number two?"_

"_A... Um both" they answered_

"_Sure I do" she hopped off the hood and opened the door, she then took out a medium sized gift box and opened it "here"_

_The man wide eyed said "No I cant... not in there" he said in a whiney voice_

"_Listen Mustard or whatever your name is... It's this or nothing"_

"_It is Oskar, and eeee I really need to go"_

_"There's a twenty in it for you, if you do it" _

_Oskar without a thought quickly answered "Ok, where do I take the box"_

_"Take it in the truck, do number two in the box, and go freestyle with number one GOT IT" _

_"Ok" Oskar went inside the truck, while Helga stayed on the look out within a distance_

_When Oskar came out he said "Ok little girl now give me my twenty"_

_"What twenty?" said Helga as she swung the bat once again making a dent_

_"The twenty you said you were going to give me if..."_

_"Listen Bucko get outta here before I tell your wife Suzie that you Poo"_

"_Ok ok ok" Oskar backed away __"ehheee he heeee" he cried as he ran away_

_

* * *

_

Jerry stood up from his chair and walked over to the almost-passing-out-of-laughter blonde "That was a gift for my mom"

Helga just kept laughing and rolling on the floor, which only made Jerry angrier "I SENT BLEEP TO MY MOM!"

Berry cut Jerry off "the video isn't over Jerry"

Jerry just stood there and once again moved his eyes to the screen

CLICK

* * *

_Helga stopped laughing when a Footballheadded boy along with his cute pig walked over to the truck "Helga.. What happened, what are you doing?" he asked_

_Helga looked towards the window of her home_

_Arnold followed her gaze and began to walk towrds it... But was stopped by Helga "Arnold... don't go"_

"What is it?" asked a curious Arnold

_"Nothing" she pulled on him and said, "What are you doing around my house anyway BuckO!"_

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAA this is where the boring part starts" said Berry, "so I'm just going to forward it"

The pictures sped from daylight to night, and then Berry pushed play

There in the picture showed Helga and Arnold madly making out in the bed of the truck

"WOOOWOWOWW" Cheered the Crowd

"GRRRRRRRRRRRRR Arnold! Helga" screeched Jerry "How could you?"

"HOW COULD YOU!" spat a flushed red Helga

"You never kiss me like that!" he was about to walk up to Arnold, but felt a pull on his collar

"DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT PLANT BOY!"

Gerald who couldn't believe his eyes managed to react and stand his guard in front of Arnold "You're gonna have to go though me first"

"Fine" said Jerry, he ran towards Gerald and knocked him down cold

"Hey!" Arnold got up and with one of his karate move pinned Jerry to the floor "Jerry what's your problem"

"You stole my girl" screamed a helpless Jerry

"I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!" Lila jumped into Arnold and pounded him in the back, but backed off when she saw that Helga was on her way towards her

Jerry didn't stop to squirm so Arnold decided to sit in top of him, Helga did too

Berry laughed "so nothing right Helga" he winked

"NOTHING, GLASSES BOY" She spat "IT WAS A ONE TIME THING!"

* * *

**A/N: Unforgetable Jerry Springer Episode:**

This big/huge lady was crying because her man treated her badly

The guy came in showing off his new skinny, and gorgeous lady

Jerry Married them on stage

Poor Big lady cried her eyes out

The good lookin had a Secret

"OK said the Guy what is it, I'll still love you anyway"

"I'm a Man" woooooooooaaaaaa I was laughing my Bleep off hahahaha (the big lady was too)

Wooooo life can be good!

**I THANK EVERYONE FOR THEIR REVIEWS :)**


	6. The Unexpected Guest

I DO NOT OWN HEY ARNOLD! JERRY SPRINGER, NOR MAURY

**WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW! EARLIER TODAY**

"You stole my girl" screamed a helpless Jerry

"I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!" Lila jumped into Arnold and pounded him in the back, but backed off when she saw that Helga was on her way towards her

Jerry didn't stop to squirm so Arnold decided to sit in top of him, Helga did too

Berry laughed "so nothing right Helga" he winked

"NOTHING, GLASSES BOY" She spat "IT WAS A ONE TIME THING!"

**CHAPTER 6**

**THE UNEXPEDTED GUEST**

"One time thing eh" laughed Berry "well then, Beautiful Audience... Would you like to see some fresh footage recorded just yesterday?" he laughed winking at the camera

Helga and Arnold glared at each other while the crowd cheered "yeahhhhhhhhh"

Forming an evil grin Berry pushed play...

* * *

_The sun just peed out of the sky as the Blonde female was getting ready to hop into the tree that led to her window, but she paused when she heard a beathless Arnold tap on her shoulder, she turned around and giggled "miss me already Football Head?"_

_Arnold just stood there with a goofy grin and holding a small blue bag "um... You forgot something very important"_

_Helga reached for the bag and with two fingers pulled out a pink underwear with blue polka dots "aaaa Arnold..." _

The Football headed Boy only grinned and rubbed his neck a bit embarrassed

_Helga smiled and walked close to him, she grabbed his hand and gave him the bag "It's well" she kissed his cheek and said "a gift I left for you"_

_Arnold took the bag, wrapped his arms around her waist and slowly began to kiss her neck "thanks" kiss "I" kiss "really" kiss "like"_

_As much as she was enjoying herself Helga had a need to tease her love god, she cleared her throat and with a smirk asked "sooooo Football Head, since I'm wearing yours, and since mine is in this bag, what are you wearing?"_

_Arnold backed away and began to blush uncontrollably "I... I..."_

"_Oh Arnold, don't tell me that you bring spare undies at 5-Star Hotels"_

"_I" and with a squeaky voice he said "I'm wearing some" _

"_Oh yeah" she walked up to him and played with his messy hair "you're so hot when you try to lie Football Head"_

_Next thing Arnold knew, Helga jumped on him like a frog making them both fall into the ground kissing_

* * *

"Owwww Owww Owwww" Cheered the Crowd

Berry turned off the TV and watched the blushing couple who sat on top of a furious Jerry "Helga... errrrrrr" he said angrily "GRRRRR you said that you weren't going to do it until marriage" he growled under both Arnold and Helga

"So what Plant Boy!" spat Helga

Berry laughed waving a piece of paper in his hand "Lila, where did Arnold tell you he has been for the past two weeks"

Lila scratched her chin and replied "I... really don't know, he really didn't say"

And Jerry "Where did Helga tell you she was going for the past two weeks" question Berry

"aaaaaa she said that she was going to take over Pluto" replied the green haired boy

"Really?"

"Yeah" said Jerry

"Ok, then"

"Well then Miss Pataki, or might I say Mrs. Shortman" paused Berry looking at a very freaked out Helga "Guess you really did take over _Pluto_ on a trip to Italy where you had a very elegant wedding"

"What?" questioned Arnold "whose Pluto, what's..."

Helga groaned in frustration

"You! Are Pluto" clarified Berry

"Hugh what?" said Arnold confused

All the girls in stage began to argue with Helga, Especially Olga and Phoebe, who was fanning an unconscious Gerald

"Girls, Girls Stop!" waived Berry angrily at all the girls

"We need an explanation!" growled Rhonda, who was also very hurt

"Yeah right Princess I don't need..." Helga was interrupted once again by the bickering females

"We just did," said Arnold "We know that it was a little selfish but it was just..."

"The perfect time" finished Helga with a dreamy sigh

"We are going to have another wedding" he grinned as he pulled out a ring out of the pocket and put it on

Helga who had hers hanging on her necklace kissed it and held onto Arnolds hand "it was a pain in the Bleep lying to you guys"

"Two days of lying was a real torture," said Arnold

All the girls nodded with a dreamy sigh, while Lila had her mouth wide open, still afraid to come close to Helga

Jerry squirmed again and with an angry tone stated "Helga... you got married you slept with him how... howw?"

Nadine, started to giggle taking the attention away from Jerry "ooooohhhh Berry" she said "you should of have seen what happened at the party"

Finally getting some answers Berry ran to her side "Yeah, what happened"

"Nadine you better keep that mouth shut before I sow it shut" yelled Helga as she shook her fist

Nadine's, mischievous expression disappeared at Helga's threat, but all of a sudden Phoebe who was fanning Gerald on the ground with a magazine began to giggle "hahaha it was hilarious, Berry they were so drunk, and we couldn't get the off each other"

A loud gasp was heard coming out of Helga "Phoebe how could you"

Phoebe kept giggling and continued "we were watching them play, and in a blink their attire vanished"

Nadine laughed loudly "We couldn't get them off each other, they were acting like animals"

Helga ran up to Nadine "Nadine you better keep that mouth shut if you know what's good for ya"

Phoebe giggled and said "the way you guys kissed, I thought I was going to be an Aunt that night without you guys even doing anything"

"Yeah" laughed Nadine "We chased you around the house... You guys were making out and taking your clothes off in front of everybody, luckily everybody was too drunk to remember"

"Arnold carried you all over and... That Poetry you recited... Very adorable" sighed Phoebe

Helga stood there and blinked while her best friend blabbed

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" threatened a beet red Helga

"Poetry?" asked Arnold "What kind? I didn't know that you..."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" yelled Helga at the top of her lungs, a scream screechier than the one she used in that disaster parade.

The audience and everyone in stage covered their ears, at the horrible scream

All of a sudden the set became silent, so silent that even a cricket could be heard chirping

"HAHAHHA HAHAHAHA, Awwwwnold and Helga sitting in a tree" sung Harold "K-I-S-S-I-N-D first come love... Then unibrowed football-heads then..." he scratched his head trying to think

"Grrrrrrr Pink Boy, now you're gonna get it" Helga ran up to him and pulled off his cap revealing a tattoo that read "I love Ron" on his forehead

The crowed burst out laughing

"Ron! Ron! Who is this Ron, Harold?" yelled Rhonda angrily

"Harold sunk down on his chair"

"I'm Ron," Yelled a man named Ron in the crowd

"Boy Howdy" laughed Stinky "I'd never would have guessed"

"No, It's not like that" frowned Harold as he swiped his hat back from Helga

"Is it Ron, the Mechanic?" guessed Sid

Harold was beginning to get angry "NO! It's Ron-da, Ron-da"

Hearing that made Rhonda want to smile but as hard as she tried to hide it failed

Harold put his hat back on "Sorry for taking you to Mr. Greens for our first date"

"Hey, I thought you said that you took her to the Cheese Festival" interrupted Sid

"No" said Harold "That... was our second date, its too embarrassing to mention what happened so I just" he shrugged "don't talk about it"

Rhonda looked away and crossed her arms

"I'm sorry that you had to see...The cow go into..."

"You should know better" stated Phoebe madly "I still have nightmares"

"So how _did _you end up with the tattoo in your forehead?" asked Berry

"Oh, That um... Eugene said that he knows about tattoos back in eight grade"

"And" said Berry trying to rush him

"I didn't let him finish because he thought that I said, that I wanted... I love Ronald McDonald"

"Ronald McDonald?"

"Yeah, Ronald McDonald... when he said that he was going to write Ronald McDonald I pushed him off and then something flew in his eye"

Berry adjusted his glasses waiting for him to continue

"He yelled I'm Blind, tripped and broke the machine, leaving Ron on my forehead"

Rhonda grabbed his hand and smiled "that's so sweet"

"Ok" said Berry while rolling his eyes "so... Phoebe, could you now explain what happened at the party"

"Oh" giggled Phoebe "sure, after the tremendous effort, we finally managed to get Helga off of Arnold"

Nadine continued "we took her to the bathroom and got her dressed leaving Arnold on a bed, as soon as we came back, Lila was there trying to wake Arnold up and telling him that they" she shrugged "you know"

"ohhhhhh" said Berry he cleared his throat and said "OK guys lets move on... Please give a hand to our next guest The Real Lila Sawyer"

"Woooooooooooooooo" Cheered the crowd, leaving the gang with shocked faces

**A/N: Wow, it feels really weird to upload on a Tuesday, and not on Thursday or Friday LOL!**

**Please... Let me know you're reading **

**Reviewwwwww, (Guest reviews are always welcomed too :D)**


	7. Fake Identity

I DO NOT OWN HEY ARNOLD! JERRY SPRINGER, NOR MAURY

**WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW! EARLIER TODAY**

"ohhhhhh" said Berry "Well, Arnold is not the Father anyway" he laughed as he showed off the DNA results he cleared his throat and said "OK guys Please give a hand to our next guest The Real Lila Sawyer"

"Woooooooooooooooo" Cheered the crowd, leaving the gang with shocked faces

**Chapter 7**

**Fake Identity**

The real Lila Sawyer walked in wearing a long country-like dress, and shook Berry's hand "it's ever so nice to meet you Mr. Sprinker"

Berry nodded and gave her an odd smile "Please, Have a seat"

The thin girl took a seat on Jerry's vacant seat, next too The Fake Lila

The whole gang started to chat among themselves; Berry cleared his throat and asked "So... If you are Lila Sawyer then..." he pointed a finger to the freaked out girl wearing the mini skirt "who is that?"

"It's my Cousin Lulu" she responded with an awkward face that showed disappointment

Olga got up and hugged Lila "oh little sister, I should have known that you would never do that to me"

Helga rolled her eyes and folded her arms, Arnold took notice of her Jealousy and rubbed her back

"No Olga" Lila finished the hug and said "I... I... haven't been a good sister"

The host walked up to Olga, and with a smile walked her to her seat "Please Lila, tell us... How did this whole mess start?"

Lila united her hands and looked down shamefully "Gosh Berry, it's a long story"

"It's ok, we have time... I think," said the Host looking at his watch

"Well" Lila cleared her throat and said, "it all started on early October "

"Last year's before the party?"

"Yes, Berry that October... Well Kyle and I kissed"

Olga frowned but held herself in control

"Arnold, were you going to break up with Lila because you saw her kiss Kyle on Early October?"

Arnold nodded in reply, still waiting for Lila to continue her story

"I... I started to notice that Arnold had a thing for Helga, and well maybe he didn't notice his own feelings but I did...but... gosh Berry this is just so hard to explain"

"It's ok Lila, you can do it" he encouraged

Lila took a deep breath "The only reason I was with Arnold is because... He he because he... looks like Arnie, my true love... I'm so sorry Arnold"

Arnold gave her a warm smile and hugged Helga who was sitting on top of Jerry with him "it's ok Lila"

"Once I noticed that he... Maybe fell in love with Helga, I don't know how but Kyle started to remind me of Arnie"

"Really?" asked the Host with a raised eyebrow

"Yes, he read the ingredients of that pudding so perfectly"

"O-Kay" said Berry "Then what?"

"Well, I knew it was wrong, Kyle was my Big Sister's fiancée, so I called my cousin Lulu and asked her if I could stay at her place, she agreed and said that she was leaving anyway, I would have never imagined that she would come here to Hillwood and take over my identity" she looked over at Olga and said "I'm ever so sorry Olga"

"It's ok Little sister" replied Olga with a weak smile

Berry spaced out and gave Olga googly eyes, a smile from Olga was better than a pay check

"Hey!"

Berry snapped out of it and saw Helga standing back up "I know where I know you!"

"Hugh?" said Berry confused

"Rhonda" said Helga

Rhonda gave Helga a weird glare "What is it my dear"

"Remember that time you came over to pick up the thing"

"What thing" asked the Elegant Lady

"You know the thing, that you asked me to make for you"

"um... No when was this?"

Helga crossed her arms and tapped her foot "Two Years ago, the thing in the closet that looks like the thing"

"Your thing?" asked the dark haired girl still confused

Helga's patience was running out "NO, not my thing... the thing I made for you! You know the one that looks like Strawberry ice-cream"

Phoebe started to giggle, "Oh Helga you're so talented, I truly adore the sculpture of Chocolate Ice-Cream that you made for me"

"Strawberry Ice-Cream... Oh, OOOOHHHHHHH I get it yes, yes I do remember " blushed Rhonda "I just love Strawberry Ice-Cream"

"ice-cream? Where?" asked Harold feeling his stomach grumble

"Shut up Pink Boy, I'm trying to make a point here" she shook Ol' Betsy and walked up to Rhonda "Remember that day"

Rhonda nodded "ummm hummm"

"Remember that we caught someone peeping at Olga, through the window?"

"Yes, I do" Rhonda pulled out her purse and showed off her pepper spray "I got him good, didn't I" she giggled

Helga pointed at Berry "you Berry Sprinker was BLLLeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppp"

Everyone stared wide-eyed as the thin blond man pushed the bleep button

"He's Olga's peeper" gasped Rhonda

Berry's forehead began to drop drips of sweat, he wiped them off and with a squeaky voice said "I don't know what you're talking about" he glanced at Olga, who currently had a Mischievous grin

"Yea, Glasses boy so what's up with you peeping at my sister Hugh?"

Berry Cleared his throat "lets...move on with the show, move on with the show" he waived his papers and pointed at Rhonda "you, who was the last person wearing the Dracula costume" he wiped more sweat off and said "because... None of these men on this stage are the father" the thin man started to mumble nervously and took a deep breath "according to the staff the next guest if the Father"

Rhonda had a shocked expression "Really" she squeaked

Berry nodded "yes, yes... who was the last person wearing the Dracula Costume"

And so with a shaky hand Rhonda rose her finger up in the air "It's... It's... B...B..."

A/N: ooooo Any guesses on who the daddy is? LOL

soundwave: you know, you're the second person who asked for that... Ok, I'll try it, even though I don't have confidence because I've never really done a POV intentionally (I was going to give it a shot with another Idea that I had earlier this month but never got around it LOL) but yeah, I just want to Thank You for your review it really means alot :D and I'm so glad that you liked ever chapter :) wooo hoooo

Helga G. Pataki: hehehe you guessed it! Thank You for the Review

**Let me know you're reading**

**Please Review, (Guest reviews are always welcomed too :)**


	8. Whose your Daddy

Messages to Guest Reviewers:

Soundwave: Thank You :D, I'm glad that you like this story, It really means a lot.

Michelle Weasley Fenton: Great Guess, I love it when people guess... but... you'll see :D

**I DO NOT OWN HEY ARNOLD! JERRY SPRINGER, NOR MAURY**

**Whose your Daddy?**

"B...B...Berry, but it cant be, that's impossible"

"Believe it or not Rhonda, he is" stated Berry with a smirk

"Oh" said Rhonda, She put her right hand up to her forehead in a dramatic fainting manner "I think I'm gonna be sick"

Suddenly, Harold's stomach started to grumble "oooooo, I'm so hungry... Nadine do you have something to eat in that box"

"Well actually"

Nadine didn't get to finish because Berry spoke up "Rhonda were waiting"

"It's... It's...

"NO! It's Arnold" Screeched Lulu "Arnold, you're the father, you and only you" and in quick action she threw him into the ground forcing the football-headed man into a kiss

Helga got up releasing a Jerry who joyfully jumped "I'm Free!"

"Get-off-of-him-you-Bleep" she jumped on top of them and yanked Lulu by the hair pulling her far away from Arnold

Ding Ding Ding

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" cheered the crowd

Two Bodyguards came rushing in yanking the girls apart, the one who held Helga was loosing his grip "OOOO is Ol' Betsy is gonna have fun with breaking those teeth one by..." the lights on stage began to dim making Helga pause

And the whole audience gasped

"AAA HAAA HAHA HAAA" Echoed the stage

Everybody looked around searching for the location of the voice

"Look," yelled Sid, he pointed upwards towards the back "There he is"

The thin shadowy figure threw himself from the roof and swung across the set with a rope "MUA HAHA HA HAHAHA"

He landed on two feet... Right in front of Berry

"Are you Thaddeus Gammelthorpe?" asked the Host

The shadowy figure nodded

"You Thaddeus Gammelthorpe... Are the Father!" announced Berry with his arms held high

In that instant the lights turned brightly on, revealing Curly wearing nothing but a Tiger Stripped underwear "Score!" he shouted while running up to Lulu and giving her a little boody dance "Come here my love, and give Daddy some sugar"

Lulu ran away and Curly followed "COME BACK MY BEAUTIFUL POODLE, AH HAHA HAHA HAHA HAAHA"

"Well" said Berry "That was... I don't know what that was, but hey" he shrugged "Do you know what time it is?"

"OUR TIME" Cheered the Audience

Berry nodded and faced the gang; "It's time for the Audience to ask you a few questions OK"

"OK" said the Gang

Five people from the Audience were already standing in line near a microphone

The first one in line was a middle-aged woman "this question is for you Berry... Did you really peep at Olga"

Seeing that Helga was about to start Berry slurred a "nooooo" he then pushed the lady out of the way and repeatedly said, "Next question, Next question"

A teen girl leaned forward "this one's for the boy with the big nose"

Sid pointed at himself and she quickly nodded "Doesn't it look like a big Bleeep"

"Woaaaaa" said everybody

Sid simply smiled and said "NO! It's small compared to the real one I have"

All the ladies in the audience Cheered while Sid gave her a wink

Up next was the chubby girl that helped Jerry out with hiding "Jerry" she chimed

Jerry looked at her direction and gave her an awkward smile

"How long do you think that the Hickey you gave me will last?"

"Come over today and I'll tell you" he smirked

The audience cheered "next question" laughed Berry

The nerdy boy pointed directly at the petite Asian Beauty who was still fanning an unconscious Gerald on the floor, "you the one with glasses"

"It's Phoebe you dweeb" spat Helga

"Yeah, Phoebe SHOW US YOUR BOOBS!"

This drove the Audience nuts "Woooooooooooooooo"

"Hey" said an angry Gerald who quickly came to be and stood up "That's it... I'm gonna kick your ass" he then chased after him

Harold started to whine again "did he say foobs... Oh I'm so hungry"

"Shut up Harold" whispered Rhonda

Harold got up and yanked away the box from Nadine "Quit hogging the Foob" he opened the box and instantly thew it letting a bunch of Roaches loose

The last person, whom was a girl, pointed directly at Helga "Is it true that you have a uni-brow"

Helga angrily got up from her seat and shook her fist "After I re-arrange your face, you'll certainly have one"

Arnold grabbed her by the shoulders and made Helga face him "You're so hot when your mad" he then pulled her up to him, kissed her passionately and pulled her down into the ground along with him.

"MeeeeOWWWWW" Cherred the Crowd

The End

**A/N**: Eeeeeeppppp it's done I'm free Thank you Curly for letting me loose hahahhahahah J/K

Hope you guys liked it, and that P.O.V thing with Arnold and Helga should be up soon...

I might.. Might add a little more to this, just... You know that conclusion thing that Jerry always does at the end of his shows I kinda have an Idea but.. eh, it's kinda stupid

_**And if you're up to it... I invite you to read my other fanfic(s)... All of em' are categorized humor Except for Bring me to Life... Enjoy**_

_**And**_

_**Please Review**_

_**With Cherry on Top**_

_**:D**_


	9. Sequel Preview

Check out this Picture I drew hope you like it guys

RDIA sequel preview

Rhonda Lloyd stood behind the stage trying to shake out all the nervous she had in her, her high heels clicked on the wooden floor as she made her way there "Hello, Welcome to the first episode of the Rhonda Lloyd Show, and here with us today are some faces you might recognize from the Berry Springer Show.

A/N: yeah guys, its gonna take a while to finish this one, gotta finish Bring me to Life first then I'll come to this one, but yeah, I'm just proud of the picture I drew so I'm using this as an excuse to upload 8P but then again, I will be writing this out Happy Vday and Have a Great Weekend


End file.
